Words, Music, voice: Michael W. Dean
Voice: Phil Wormuth
This is Mr. Michael Dean. I’m out in the world being awesome. So I’m not in.
But if you’d like to read a true story to me, from one of my novels,
from something that happened in my life, you may do so at the tone.
In 1997, I was temping as the receptionist at a dot-com in San Fran called “Paradigm Consulting.” and there are two companies called that now, neither are this company.
Pretty sure they’re out of business, like most dot-coms I worked for back then.
They had about 50 employees, all working on computers in one big room. Not sure what they were doing.
I was answering the phones there for a week. Was South of Market in San Fran, on Howard Street around 3rd or 4th, on the north side of the street.
At the end of the week, on my break, I went into the break room.
Two guys who worked there had their feet up on the table and were playing Tomb Raider on a 6-foot projection television.
I said, ” I’ve worked here a week, and also just read our entire website. I can’t figure out what, if anything, we do….”
One of the gamers said, without looking up from the game, in a total deadpan voice “We enter into contracts with multinational corporations, renege on the contracts, and then sue them.”
He sounded totally serious and neither of them laughed. They just kept playing Tomb Raider.
I had no follow-up questions.
My mother, back when she was alive,
used to say things to me like….
She called the music I listened to “Ulcer Music.”
She actually had an ulcer, from working too hard
at the store she owned, the Oriental Bazaar.
But she really didn’t like rock music.
She called acid rock “heroin rock.”
…which people later called my band Bomb, that,
back in the day…
But she called music I liked, you know, Rolling Stones,
Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin,
Yup. Ulcer Music.
So I guess that’s what Phil and I make now,
Ulcer rock! etc….
The phone number dialed is the Tommy Tutone number, with my area code added. That is not a working number.