Microtonal / xenharmonic. 6EDphi, 12 EDphi.
Music: Michael W. Dean
Words Phil Wormuth and Michael W. Dean.
This is the final mix and master.
(There are no other ways.
And we are out of phase.)
You’re a public school teacher.
Yeah, right. So, you know that teachers have to
earn money in the summer, right? We’re
So I do the cliche thing,
I’m a house painter.
House painting saved my behind
many times in my life.
When everything else fell through
someone always needs their house painted
“So how’s the other guy look?”
Like you killed someone?
I said “Worse.”
And a woman came up to me
“Well, that’s blatant.”
“Who’d you kill?!”
And I’m like “What is up with
“I’m retiring this shirt!”
It’s funny, a lot of people burning them
are probably very concerned with their
Yea, I think burning a Nike
probably puts as much crap in the air as
driving your car for a week.”
Can you remember back in the 70s and 80s
when they were burning L.P.s because of their content?
Can you imagine how bad that was for the air?
And because of disco.
They just crush ’em, cause of disco.
Did you hear about? Do you remember?
You weren’t there, at that
baseball game where they crushed
disco records, and there was a riot?
You ever hear about that?
Disco sucks kind of thing?
You would have enjoyed it.
(I would have!)
But I like disco.
But there was a riot
people got so excited…
instead of bat day
or whatever day, at the ball park,
it was “bring a disco record and we’ll
They didn’t wanna burn them.
You burn a couple thousand vinyl records
you’re gonna choke the people in the stands, so…
They had a bulldozer. They were gonna bulldoze ’em.
The people were so excited to destroy disco
figuratively, people probably bought
disco records to destroy.
I don’t think that presidents actually ever
really stimulate the economy.
I think the only way they stimulate it is
by encouraging people to burn their Nikes and
buy new ones.
Make America Burn Shoes Again.
They had the mini-bats and they were bashing records
did a quarter-million dollars damage to the stadium.
And a lot of people got arrested.
And a lot of people got hurt.
Bad scene, man.
So don’t do that, people.
At home, or anywhere.
So I saved a pigeon.
That’s the biggest news of the day.
I saved a pigeon.
My wife and I saved a pigeon
…oh, and then they blew it up.
They blew up all the records.
They crushed ’em, then they blew ’em up.
Oh, and then the home team had to forfeit
’cause the field was too messed up to play.
Yeah, the White Sox forfeited to the Detroit Tigers.
I wanna segue into that, the bird falling out
of the sky because of my poem.
That’s a line in your poem too.
I love that line.
Yeah, I’m talking to a co-worker of mine
who has 20 chickens.
And I’m telling her the story and she says,
“What you gotta do is jump up and down and
put your arms out to show that you’re the boss…”
“…and that you’re bigger…”
yeah, the last time he attacked me I just…
She said, “I need help saving a pigeon.”
I didn’t even ask questions, I just, “OK”
Went into action.
She picks up gardening gloves for both of us.
I’m gloving up as I’m walking out.
And there’s a pigeon stuck in our fence
upside down, by one foot
between two slats on the fence
bleeding, with a broken leg.
He was flappin’.
We didn’t just start grabbin’ at him.
We had a little conversion about it.
Kinda like E.R. people.
“Well, how do we get this guy’s head
out of this tree?”
You don’t just start pullin’.
I was like “Should we just break the slat?”
She was like “I don’t think we need to, and it
might hurt him more.”
So I reached gently but firmly under its
kind of its shoulder over the wings, and just held it.
She pulled one of the slats on the fence toward her.
Nudged its leg up through the slat until it got away.
Then I just set it down on the ground.
We looked out there about an hour later,
it flew away.
And DJ says she’s seen a one legged, one footed
pigeon before, so I think it can survive this.
Prognosis is good.